We were looking at caps of the Web Planet with the scene where the Doctor uses Ian’s tie that is around Ian’s middle and Ian worries that his trousers will fall down. We always wondered what happened to Ian’s actual belt?
So here’s a fic about it we did ages ago but never uploaded anywhere. Bit of fluff really. Haven’t checked through it so hope there’s no mistakes.
The Doctor, Ian, Barbara, and Vicki were standing in the TARDIS wardrobe room. The ship had recently plummeted off the edge of a cliff in Ancient Rome and before they were to rest at the villa the Doctor had somehow secured, they needed to be properly attired in the finest of Roman garments.
Inside the wardrobe, there were rows upon rows of shelving units that seemed to be full of jumpers and shoes and bags. Another section had numerous hat racks with hats including fedoras, fezzes, and bowlers. There was a line of mirrors that Barbara equated to a house of mirrors at an English funfair, though she hoped that her reflection in these ones wouldn’t make her look as fat as the ones in Bournemouth had.
“Now, here you will find anything,” The Doctor began. “You may have not seen this side of the wardrobe before.”
Vicki’s eyes widened in fascination, “It’s a whole new wardrobe, bigger than what you’ve shown us already.”
“My dear child, it’s the same wardrobe you were just not looking clearly.”
“First things first, Doctor,” Barbara said still rubbing her head from her fall to the floor during the crash. “Never mind the clothes, how come the TARDIS is on its side and we are the right way up?”
“Have you not heard of gravity?” He replied harshly.
Ian’s eyes rolled to the ceiling. “Yes, Doctor but that doesn’t explain why we aren’t standing on the walls now does it? Outside the ship is on its side and in here, we’re the right way up.”
“Well of course we are dear boy; we’d look rather foolish if we were trying on clothes upside down, on the side, on our heads, rather messy.”
Vicki laughed. She was not in the least bit bothered for an explanation like the two teachers. She was just happy that they were in Rome and picking out new clothes. Barbara and Ian smirked at one another and knew that there was no point pestering him further.
Ian took off his leather belt and placed it onto a rack beside him. As soon as he did, the rack started spinning and a loud whirring noise brought everyone to attention. The machine rotated even faster so that all the belts on it were now a blur. Ian reached forward trying to grab his belt but Barbara stopped him.
“Ian, you’ll cut your hand off.”
The Doctor stopped the machine and Ian stared at the array of belts in all different colours, sizes, shapes and patterns. He was miffed that he couldn’t see his trusty work belt anywhere.
“Doctor, where’s my belt?”
“I haven’t the foggiest Chesterton; don’t be so bone idle, you have eyes don’t you? Check through them yourself.”
The Doctor’s face lit up with a slight glee, he grabbed some robes and Vicki took some garments in her hands and they both left to get changed into their new costumes.
“Well Vicki’s very excited,” Barbara said.
“I’d be more excited if I could find my belt,” Ian said as he fondled a rather large belt that when he wrapped it around him, it could easily have fitted Barbara in it too. He tried not to think of that.
“Oh Ian do shut up about that stupid belt!”
Ian frowned and in annoyance threw the large belt to the side and admitted defeat. He couldn’t see his belt at all. He picked up a black belt from the rack and looked at the strange golden clasps around the edges. He held it up to show Barbara who was already holding up a nice Roman style dress.
“Hey Barbara, how do you think this works?” he said as he placed it around his middle. Before he could do anything it automatically clasped tightly around his waist and clipped itself together. Ian could barely breathe. He was now trying to get it off before he broke all his ribs.
“Barbara!” He called breathlessly, feeling the mechanic belt pressing against his skin, it felt like it was getting tighter and tighter.
Barbara took off the bright scarf that she had draped around herself and looked over to Ian who had turned a rather intense shade of pink. “Ian! What on earth are you doing?!”
Ian couldn’t reply. He was trying to reply but no sound emerged from his throat. He yanked at the belt forcefully and finally it flew off and was flung deep into the wardrobe out of Ian’s sight. Barbara rushed over and helped him up.
“I do not want to know what the purpose of that belt is,” Ian muttered as Barbara checked him over to see if he was ok. He shook off her care with embarrassment.
“I’m quite alright now Barbara,” he replied, his eyes not meeting her gaze.
Barbara smiled at his reluctance to show any weakness and placed a pink feather boa around her shoulders. “So, what do you think?” she asked.
Ian laughed, “Oh yes, very appropriate for 64 AD.”
“I could start a new fashion in the Roman age; maybe Caesar Nero will even want one.”
Ian snatched the boa and draped it around his own shoulders. “How long do you think I’d last before getting thrown in the arena if I wore this?”
“Well we’ll certainly get thrown in the arena if we don’t hurry up and change. Forget the belt and pick some robes, a toga, anything.”
“I don’t know about this Barbara. I mean, I’d have to show my legs and everything.” Ian winced.
Barbara rolled her eyes, “Wasn’t it you who told me you had footballers legs? And what about when you wear a dressing gown? It amounts to the same thing, so stop being a baby, and put some clothes on.”
“It does not amount to the same thing,” Ian protested. “A dressing gown is worn at night in one’s private quarters. A toga is really inappropriate for me, what if a student could know?”
“Ian, there are none of our students in 64 AD!”
“Yes, none of them could ever get up that early.”
Barbara ignored him and searched through a row of togas. She wondered why the Doctor had so many, how many times had he been to ancient Rome exactly? One of the togas caught her eye and she handed it to Ian.
“Here you go, it’s not too short.”
“Stop moaning, don’t make me dress you.”
Ian took the garment with very little enthusiasm. “And what exactly have you picked prey tell?”
Barbara pulled out a rather pretty toga with lots of intricate design around the edges, “I think this one will suit me just fine.”
Ian smirked. “Oh do you really think you’re of the right status for that Barbara? I mean I picture that on a Princess or a lady of noble birth.”
Barbara clenched her teeth, she almost felt like hitting him for such a remark, but she could see from the corner of her eye that he was grinning and she could see the twinkle in his eye. She punched him on the arm softly and dismissed his comments with her head held high.
“Away commoner! For I am of Noble birth!” She said.
Ian laughed. “Alright, alright, I’ll put the damn thing on but I won’t be happy about it.”
Barbara smiled and then saw Ian reaching for one of the leather belts. She hit his hand away forcefully, “Ian! Will you stop fussing about that bloody belt?”
Ian was shocked and backed away from the wardrobe room. As he started to exit he turned back to Barbara. “I really liked that belt you know.”
Barbara started to run towards him. Ian laughed and ran as fast as he could.